I’m a Narcissistic Foodie

I can’t come up with a good title. I know exactly what random things I’d like to discuss here today, but for the life of me, I cannot think of what to title this damn blog post. I’m racking my brain for something clever, that will catch your eye, and, well it just ain’t happening. To give you a brief summary of where this post is going, I’ll describe each thing using only one word:

  • Narcissism
  • Flirting
  • Coworkers
  • Skunks
  • Food

And, just to drive all you OCD psycho’s out there crazy, I’m not even going to discuss them in that order… 😛

Let me start by saying the smell of skunks, is not, I repeat not a good one. If you like the smell of skunks you just need to leave. Not even joking, get the hell of my blog site and go somewhere else (I really am kidding, you can stay if you want, just don’t sick a hoard of skunks on me please!!). Getting to the point, I’m growing to really dislike skunks, like badly. I live in the middle of BFE and there’s a whole lot of nothing around the old farm house I’m renting. The landlords warned me there was a skunk out there somewhere, but until recently, I hadn’t seen (or smelled) any sign of him. That is, until early two mornings ago I woke up and my room smelled like a skunk. It was worse when I left for a training session that morning. Oh god, it was so bad outside. And then, when I was done with my PT session, I got in my truck and I kid you not, the inside of my truck reeked like that creepy animal that’s choosing now, of all times, to torment me! 😦 Why can’t it just leave me alone? If I hadn’t had to go to work later that night I honestly think I would have suited up in my carhartts, grabbed my guns and went a huntin. The only thing that could go wrong, well I suppose there are several things that could go wrong, like: falling through a hidden slough, shooting myself, being shot by illegal hunters on the property, or you know, running into the skunk and it seeing me before I see it, or, at least before I can shoot it from a safe distance away. And those were just the first ones that came to my head. You should here about how many ways I could die by just driving into town… it’s quite fascinating, my brain is. Off topic. I know. It happens.

Next I shall refer to narcissism. I don’t know if you believe in signs and astrology, but the more I read about my “sign” the more I think, either these people know me personally, or there’s legitimately something to be said about it. Anyways, according to my birthday, I’m a Leo, and by default, I guess that’s makes me somewhat of a self-centered person. I don’t know, a lot of the stuff on Leo’s seems contradictory, but, you know, that’s just the internet for you. Apparently, Leo’s are very tenderhearted people but, if you screw them over, you might just want to walk away, because they will, and they won’t give a single duck about you after that either. Not to mention, we have bad tempers (ahem), we are slightly self-centered (selfies anyone?), and above all, we crave an emotional connection. We desire to be loved, and noticed. We’re not needy in the sense we want you to constantly be giving us stuff, but we do like to be hugged, and loved on. I think, from a personal standpoint, as a generally self-centered Leo, I just need to know that you choose me. Not that you need me or want me but that you choose me. And I suppose, that probably sounds a little bit, uh, needy and maybe even a little bit self-centered. But hey, I didn’t ask to be born a Leo. I’m just a fantastic lion, you should hear me roar.

Food. Oh. My. Gosh. It’s probably because I didn’t pack anything for dinner, or eat lunch… but I have been thinking a lot about food right now, and I’m making a mental list of all the foods I need to eat if I ever return to, you know, normal civilization again. Currently, where I live, there’s a crappy excuse for Chinese, expensive pizza, subway, a couple outrageously priced local cafes, and you know, gas stations. If I want anything other then that, I’m either going to have to make it myself or drive roughly 60 miles to get to a “city” where I can get something else. Currently, right now while I’m thinking about it, I could really go for some In-N-Out, or Chick-Fil-a, or good lord I could so eat some Jersey Mike’s. Why? Why are you not in my life anymore?? Granted, it’s probably better for my figure, and overall health that I’m no longer two minutes away from fast food places, but daang, I never knew I could miss food so much….

(how crazy would it drive some of you [not that anyone reads this in the first place] if I just skipped one on the list and didn’t even talk about it? I mean, I’m not going to because I genuinely have stuff to say about it and I need to kill time, I’m just thinking out loud)

Let’s talk coworkers. First of all, let me start by saying, I actually really enjoy my coworkers. I don’t really see them very often, generally the housekeeping girls leave as soon as I get in, and the laundry lady doesn’t always sit and talk, and the night guy comes in right when my shift is up, so I don’t usually see them, but I still really like working with them nonetheless. I was talking to the one guy (I didn’t forget his name, there’s just literally only one guy) who works here and I was asking how some of these people didn’t need hours. How did they make it financially without needing all their hours to pay bills etc. He mentioned they were getting child support, so they probably didn’t really need the extra money. This made me laugh and I couldn’t resist remarking with, “So that’s the key? Maybe I should just start popping out kids so I don’t have to work so much.” Of course he laughed, I mean, come on, I’m hilarious (and so obviously narcissistic). Then he said, “You know, I’ve been trying to find a way to get a tax deduction too, wanna have a kid together?” AHHHHHH! let me just tell you! I died laughing, and I had no idea what to say! It was pretty hilarious I’m sure because I just stammered over my words while my brain was screaming, “what just happened?!” ha, I just love people with a sense of humor. It kills me!

Ahh, this last one, which, is technically the 2nd one… Flirting. To be honest, sometimes I don’t actually know if someone is trying to flirt with me. It seems like a lot of them either try too hard and just fail miserably, or they just aren’t getting it and I can’t tell what they’re doing or why they’re saying these things to me… lol Here’s an example; the other day I was sitting at the front desk and this guy comes up and asks if we have a bigger trashcan he can dump his trash in, and also get new trash bags. Of course we have a bigger trashcan, not to mention duh, we have extra trash bags, like what does he think we only have enough for each room to be stocked?? Anyways, he proceeds to tell me he thinks I’ve been here for a long time, and when I say I’m working my normal shift he asks how long it is. It’s eight hours, like normal desk jobs, so I tell him that and he was like, oh, okay well thanks! see you later. haha, I honestly couldn’t tell if he was trying to flirt and just failing so horribly at it or if he was actually just been nice… The jury is still out on that one. For sure. Also, today, this old guy came in, and when I say old, I mean, older then my father old. I think he may have been tipsy, or just straight up drunk because he kept asking me when I got back from Michigan, and when I told him (repeatedly) I didn’t go to Michigan, he asks me when I am going. Let the record reflect, I’m not, nor am I planning to visit Michigan anytime soon… Anyways, as he’s waiting for the elevator to come down I hear him say in a low voice, “I like that ponytail.” So of course, I look at him and give him my best, wtf face and he just gets into the elevator laughing. He came back down later with another guy and I just heard him say in a sing-song voice “pretty girl,” then, he asked again when I got back from Michigan to which his companion half yelled, “That wasn’t her, that was a different girl.” And that’s the last I saw of him tonight. *gags* Could you just not?? Like seriously. Please, go away and take your ass home. Especially if you’re drunk, I do not want to have to deal with you. Potassium thanks. Bye. It’s not that I haven’t been hit on before, or don’t know how to deal with it, I just prefer not to. Like does that stuff ever even work for you?? Because I feel like it wouldn’t, or maybe it just shouldn’t. I don’t know, either way just take your little self back up to your room and leave me to write my blogs in peace. Thanks.

Side note, what’d you think of that title eh? Not too shabby right? I know, it sucks okay? You don’t have to be so mean about it sheez.

Well. That seems to be about it for now folks. Any suggestions for blog posts? Maybe? I don’t know, just throw something out there… if anyone is out there….

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