Play Pretend

I’ve come to the conclusion, that I think I’m only a pretend adult. And I’m going to tell you why, however, should you be experiencing the same things I’m about to list, please don’t take offense and assume I’m calling you a pretend adult as well. Because, let’s just be honest, it would be really shitty for someone to go around making a list of reasons why you’re a fake adult when you’re trying really hard. So, this is my personal blog post of why I do believe I am only a fake adult, which, I’m slightly okay with because who the hell wants to actually be an adult? Except for kids, cause, they cray and don’t know how good they have it.


I have an entire list of why I’m a faker, and it’s probably going to be pretty eye opening for all those I have fooled, but to be laughingly honest, that’s probably no one… at all. I don’t really know how to like, start into a list like this… so I’m just gonna go for it I guess? Is there really a way to intro a list of things that prove you’re really not as mature or on point as you thought you were? Eh, probably not, so here goes nothing:

— I enjoy kids movies. And not like the occasional kids movie, literally most of my favorite movies that I quote on a constant basis are children’s movies… How to Train Your Dragon (both), Big Hero 6, Up, Wreck It Ralph, Beauty and the Beast, Sleeping Beauty – the list literally goes on forever.

— Along those same lines, I watch really immature TV shows. Side tangent, why is TV capitalized like that? Why can’t I just say tv and still be grammatically correct?? Anyways, recently I’ve been watching a lot of MTV and it’s just sad really, all these shows about teenagers and weird drama that I should probably just leave to the high schoolers, but it’s so addictive and I can’t help but wonder why I wasn’t that cool in high school, maybe it was the braces?

— I.. ha, this one isn’t embarrassing at all, I am the laziest adult. If I could afford to pay someone to clean my house and handle my finances or make me a budget I totally would because I hate it. Its so monotonous and repetitive, why can’t my dishes just do themselves? Or the laundry?? Don’t get me wrong, I could wash and dry laundry all damn day, it’s the folding and putting it away that will never ever be accomplished by me… ugh. Adulting is hard!

— I hate dressing like an adult… why can’t it just be okay to wear sweat pants, and baggy sweatshirts everywhere?? For instance, tonight I was wearing this really comfy sweater that just makes me super cozy and happy, and I had to get ready for work, so I put on a work shirt then immediately put my sweater back on, and I actually just wore it into work over my work shirt because my manager didn’t seem to care… Also, I definitely have my yoga leggings underneath my dress slacks, it’s actually killing me because it’s 30 something above, and the hotel is actually warm right now, so I’m basically over heating for the sake of feeling cozy. Well, that and I’m too lazy to go take the leggings off.

— On a daily basis, I’m pretty sure I interact more verbally with my cat then I do humans. First of all, though he may be Sassy, he’s nicer then most people anyways. Second of all, I don’t like to get dressed and go into town unless I have to, so I usually just sit at my house by myself and he’s the only one there to talk to, so I kind of just say I’m talking to him so I feel less crazy then if I was talking to myself…

— I blog while I’m at work to save me from total boredom. I will say though, this job is one thing that validates I’m an adult, aside from my license being of the horizontal direction. Why? You may ask, because like so many other adults out there, I’m working a job that I don’t really want to be working because it pays the bills and the jobs I want to be working just don’t seem to be working out. Now, don’t get me wrong, I do actually, strangely enough, enjoy my job. I like where I work and who I work with (me, usually), but I just wish I could be doing something I’m passionate about. Which would be helping people, and like a regular adult I can’t do that because the system isn’t fair.

— I get anxiety during certain social encounters. For example, 80% of the time I’m texting something serious, or something that could be read the wrong way, I will text/forward the entire conversation to one of my best friends just to verify I’m making sense and not coming off as an idiot, or an asshole. This, should probably stop. I know I can think for myself, I just don’t want to say the wrong thing, and a second opinion is always so helpful. This kind of leads straight into………..

— 9/10 times I will ask someone else’s opinion and do what they say just so I don’t have to make a decision myself. I HATE making decisions, they’re so hard and some of them are really important, and I don’t want to be the one responsible for messing up my life, I’ve done that enough, someone else should take responsibility for the train wreck that is my life. Don’t ya think? But, even little decisions, I’m so bad at making. I have literally texted my little sister to ask what I should have for dinner so I don’t have to decide, and by the way, she totally decides for me, and it’s great. She’s definitely more of an adult then I am.

— I have literally no recollection of what I learned in school, and math is hard (yes, I’m Asian and math escapes me, don’t be racist). I always thought I’d go to college and get a degree and be super smart and get a good job and have a family, yet, here I am with a fairly easy to obtain certificate that really hasn’t helped me much at all. Ahhh the joys of adulthood I suppose.

— I’m amending my original post after a rather ridiculous realization today. I woke up today in the actual AM because I took an extra four hours extending my shift to a 12 hour shift. Anyways all that to say, I may be a fake adult because when I got up the sun was still rising and the first thing that popped into my head is, “what the hell am I doing awake if the sun’s not even fully up yet!”

So, I don’t know, what do you think. I’m I a real deal adult, or am I doing a good job at faking it? (I honestly don’t really care, if you think I’m an adult or not, I’m just being polite in asking.)

I guess there’s only one thing left to say: Keep it Classy interweb!

Also, upon review of this post, I think I’m going to add the word literally to the list of words I will try not to say as much, if ever…


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